What is Pre-Anger?
I have a habit of picking fights with my husband when I’m mad at myself for not getting a task done.
We’ve coined it pre-anger because I typically blame him for something he hasn’t done yet, that I think he might do, so best to stop him ahead of time before he even starts.
This happens when my limiting beliefs take over, they show up as stories in my head that trigger my emotions.
Story 1:
I can’t finish anything. I get all these great ideas (l’ll update my website, I’ll put all the Christmas cards in an album, I’ll reorganize my office). They sit undone, taunting me and I think I can’t finish them.
The emotion behind it:
Shame and disappointment. My thoughts: I repeat this pattern again and again. What’s wrong with me?
Story 2:
I don’t know enough and I’m going to mess this up. So I shouldn’t even start because I don’t know what I’m doing and it’s gonna be crap if I try to push through.
The emotion behind it:
Doubt in my abilities, fear of ridicule, I just want to hide under a rock.
How do I counteract these limiting belief stories?
I tell myself how they’re not true.
“If you want your life to be different, you have to be willing to do something different first. ” - Kevin Bracy
How story 1 Isn’t True: I finished so many things, I finished 200 hour yoga teacher training and 300 hour yoga teacher training. I finish reading books like a boss! I’ve updated my website before, so I can totally do it again.
How story 2 isn’t true: This is perfectionism rearing its ugly head. If you’re not uncomfortable or making mistakes then you’re not learning and growing. Mistakes are a normal part of living and the best way to learn. I give myself permission to be human and make mistakes.
Your subconscious beliefs pop up before you even realize it. When you uncover the feeling behind your reaction you make life/adulting/everything easier on yourself.
Journaling Prompt: What are your limiting belief stories?
P.S. Mark your calendar, Boundaries & Balance 2024 starts March 15th, where we’ll work through your limiting belief stories together. 💕
When you say “I should” or “I'm supposed to” it's because you're feeling guilt, a sense of obligation, or potential embarrassment.